ARRAAAAYYYY!!!!! (Oouch!!!)… I shouted this word last September 22, 2012. I was in pain after an accident. My right foot was hit by a hard object. I heard the bang. At first it was not that painful. But after few minutes, it started to swell. I saw the two major parts that were hit—the top lower part of my foot and the middle top. I went home walking uncomfortably going in and out the vehicle to our place.
O yes, I want to say, ‘Why, Lord?’ And again God will answer me, ‘Why not?’ Instead I asked God this way, ‘What is the message or the messages of this accident?’ Then I paused for a moment, I dig down my heart to know the answer. I did not find the answer immediately because my attention is on my pain.
Upon getting off the bus, I saw at the street corner two children lying asleep with no upper clothes, they are dirty. In short, they are one of the street children roaming around the place. Some working people are walking by. Seems that they do not see the pitiful situation of those children. There is a little pinch, no a big punch in my heart. Then I whisper to the Lord, ‘Lord, seeing them is more painful than what I am suffering now.’ Like the people around, I continue walking. And just prayed that I can help these children one day.
I was dragging my right foot while walking towards our home. Sometimes I will hop so as to reach our home immediately. Few meters away from our house, I come across this old man. Seeing the way I walk, he asked me, ‘What happened?’ This old man is our neighbor. Usually I saw him just sitting at the corner alone and sometimes having a good chat with his other old neighbors, friends and families. I seldom greet him maybe because I was shy to approach him. Then on that day, through my injury we had the chance to talk. He insisted to see my foot. While in pain, I slowly removed my shoes. I was so careful not to press hard my foot. He offered to put oil on my foot and a little bit he massages it. At that time, I felt God’s love. I felt God’s rescuing arm, saying that ‘You are safe with me.’
Then I go home hoping that I will feel better in a while. I had another event to attend to that night. I will watch a benefit concert with my friends. My ticket was paid and they are expecting me to be there. I texted my friend about my situation and asked for her prayer. She said that I would be well after few minutes. I was hoping that it would happen according to her words. I said to her that if this I will be okay after thirty minutes, I would still come. But the thirty minutes became one hour and so I declared that I would not go anymore to the concert.
Lying on my bed and staring on the ceiling, I asked myself ‘What went wrong?’ At home I was alone and there is no one to help me. What made it worst is that my room is located at the second floor. And I have to take the stairs to go to the comfort room. At this time the pain increases and the size of my foot also increase. I felt the numbness of my lower leg. Kulang na lang gumapang ako in going down and up the stairs. The good thing is that there is a rail where I can hold as I go back and forth to my room and to the comfort room. It was hard. There is no one to help me or lift me. Whom I am going to call? I called my God, my savior. Amidst my misery, it was God who came to assist me. He is 24/7 available for me. Yes, of course physically I cannot see him, but the strength I felt that time is enough to know that he is there.
Then I sleep with a prayer that I can walk straight the next morning.
Well, miracles of all the miracles, my prayer did not come true. I still feel the pain of my right foot. I keep on reflecting the message of this accident. And I got answers. First, I need to rest. My plan after my activity that day is to go directly to the concert. That morning I jogged with my students and immediately we had our rigorous physical training. Second, the Lord wants me to go back to him like a child—dependent and trusting him fully. Third, so I can feel God’s love through the people around me. Fourth, I need to be humble. Few days ago, I think my achievements are storing high into my head. I needed to go back on track. To be reminded that it was not about me but it was about God.
I realized that the security and achievements that I am holding this time, in a blink of an eye could be gone. All things shall pass but the love of God will remain forever. God is the only security we can hold on to. He is our stronghold and our refuge.
It happened six days ago. Although the pain subsided and the swollen part decreased, I could not yet walk normally. I was advised to have an x-ray for this. And I will go to be sure about my situation.
I know in the coming days I will get well. I claimed in Jesus’s name that my right foot would be stronger than ever. But on top of that, my soul, and my character were strengthened. And most of all my faith increased -- to believe and to trust God. I have to patient and wait to the total healing of my foot. I know for sure God saved me through this incident. That is why the Gospel for September 30 is literally appropriate for me. “If your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life crippled than with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna.”-Mk 9:45.
I am thankful that my foot was not cut off by that accident. But it was a saving grace. Pain saved me as to the suffering of Jesus that saved humanity. Sometimes we could not understand why do we need to experience pain in life just to get the lessons. We can choose to do the short cuts in the growth of our faith. But there is no real growth if the lessons are not marked with pain. It is a paradox indeed. One thing is for sure, it was because of love. Yes, love that saves. We cannot comprehend God ways but that what makes him God – hard to grasp. Really amazing!
To God be the glory!
